I've found myself hopelessly restless over the past few days, something that's only been compounded by my need to remain inactive. I confess, I haven't been very faithful to the notion, but considering my urges have fallen more into line with the need to ruin a city block or two, I'd like to think I've done well enough. There is little to keep me busy, so unlike three years ago... now everything lies solely upon Xemnas' shoulders and there is nothing for the rest of us to do for it. Before, there was a sense that we were still working together for something but whereas we would look then to Kingdom Hearts, now all eyes are upon one man and somehow, I think that is what makes it difficult.

This isn't something we can simply command or manipulate anymore. All we can do is watch in the sad hope that Xemnas' failing mind and body will be able to overcome this last trial for us.  He doesn't need  I wishworry  I don't want to lo  If he doesn't

We spoke some time ago, which I regret to admit resulted in my previous entry, but it has forced me to realize at least a few of the sources of my discomfort... As angry as they made me at the time, I believe that it was something I needed to hear and understand. Not that it makes the coming situation any easier... simply less confusing. Now instead of struggling with something I have no concept of, I struggle only to come to terms with it; a fight that I believe will ultimately find it's end with the return of my heart. Only then will I truly find the comprehension I'm searching for.

Hmm, I think if I go on for much longer, this will eventually start sounding like one of Zexion's entries. (I may, in fact, be there already, but it's not a condition I'm trying to compound.)

I wonder, when I can feel again... will it be as brilliant as I imagined? I hope so...

((OOC: strikes typed then deleted))